Couples Therapy

In-Person Therapy on the Wirral and Online across the UK and beyond.

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Are you both looking to stay together ...

🌿 When you still care about each other… but something between you isn’t working

Most couples don’t come to therapy because they’ve had one bad week.

They come because they’re tired.

Tired of having the same argument over and over again.

Tired of walking on eggshells.

Tired of the silence.

Tired of feeling unheard, misunderstood, or more like housemates than partners.

Maybe you still love each other deeply, but you’ve lost some of the closeness you once had.

Perhaps trust has been damaged.

Maybe one of you keeps trying to talk while the other shuts down.

Or perhaps you can’t quite explain what’s gone wrong — you just know that being together has become harder than it used to be.

Couples therapy gives you somewhere to stop, slow everything down and understand what’s actually happening between you.

And from there, we can work out how to change it.

Book a free 20-minute consultation

🌿 “What if you think we’re a nightmare?”

I hear versions of this more often than you might imagine.

“We’ve left it too late.”

“We argue all the time.”

“What if you think one of us is the problem?”

Or simply…

“I’m not sure anyone can help us.”

You don’t need to bring me the polished version of your relationship.

Bring me the real one.

The arguments that go round in circles.

The conversations that somehow end somewhere completely different from where they started.

The things you’ve stopped saying because you already know how the conversation will go.

The awkward silences.

The resentment.

The hurt.

The moments when you look at the person you love and genuinely wonder… “How did we get here?”

My job isn’t to be shocked.

It isn’t to decide who’s right.

And it certainly isn’t to choose sides.

My focus is the relationship between you.

We’ll look at what happens when things go wrong, what each of you experiences in those moments, and what might be sitting underneath the conflict.

Because the argument about the dishwasher…

usually isn’t really about the dishwasher.

🌿 Sometimes it’s the pattern that’s the problem

Relationships can develop cycles without either person deliberately creating them.

One partner might push harder because they’re desperate to feel heard or connected.

The other might withdraw because they feel criticised, overwhelmed, or simply don’t know what to say.

The first person experiences the withdrawal as: “You don’t care.” ....So they push harder.

The other experiences that as even more criticism. ....So they retreat further.

And round you go.

Neither person is necessarily trying to hurt the other.

But the pattern hurts both of you.

What sounds like criticism can have loneliness underneath it.

What looks like withdrawal can actually be self-protection.

What comes out as anger can be hurt that hasn’t felt heard for a very long time.

Couples therapy helps us slow those moments down enough to understand what’s actually happening.

Because once you can see the cycle you’re caught in, something important can change:

You can stop seeing each other as the enemy and start tackling the problem together.

🌿 What happens in couples therapy?

You don’t need to arrive knowing exactly what’s wrong.

That’s part of the work we’ll do together.

We’ll explore what’s happening in your relationship and make room for both of your experiences.

That might mean looking at:

recurring arguments that never seem to get resolved
communication that quickly becomes defensive or heated
emotional distance or loss of connection
intimacy and affection
trust or betrayal
resentment that’s built up over time
differences in needs or expectations
parenting, family or work pressures
major changes in your lives
boundaries
feeling taken for granted
feeling unheard or misunderstood
different ways of giving and receiving love

But couples therapy isn’t just about talking about what’s gone wrong.

We’ll also look at what happens next.

✧ How do you communicate differently when the familiar pattern begins?

✧ How can you say what you need without attacking?

✧ How do you listen without immediately preparing your defence?

✧ How do you repair things after an argument?

✧ How do you begin rebuilding closeness when you’ve felt distant for a long time?

And how do you become a team again without either of you having to become a completely different person?

🌿 I’m not here to decide who’s right

One of the biggest worries about couples therapy is that the therapist will take sides.

I won’t.

There may be times when I gently challenge one of you.

There may be other times when I challenge the other.

And there may be times when we realise that you’re both doing something that makes complete sense individually but creates difficulties when those two things collide.

That’s why I don’t approach couples therapy as: Person A versus Person B.

I’m interested in:

Person A + Person B + the relationship you’ve created between you.

Both of you need space to talk.

Both of you need to feel heard.

And both of your experiences matter.

That doesn’t mean pretending every behaviour is okay.

It means creating a calm enough space to be honest about what’s happening without therapy becoming another place where you have to win an argument.

🌿 How I work with couples

Every relationship is different, so I don’t use a rigid formula or a tick-list that every couple has to follow.

My couples work draws on approaches including:

✦ Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
Helping us understand the emotions and attachment needs underneath the conflict and find safer ways of reaching for each other.

✦ The Gottman Method
Giving us practical ways of understanding conflict, improving communication and strengthening friendship and connection.

✦ Solution-Focused Therapy
Helping us notice what’s already working, identify what you want to be different and find practical ways of moving towards it.

But you don’t need to know the theory. That’s my job.

Your job is simply to bring the two of you.

We’ll work out the rest together.

Want to find out more - please book a call

🌿 When there’s neurodivergence in the mix…

When your brains work differently, love can get lost in translation

You can love each other deeply and still keep getting stuck in the same painful pattern.

One of you needs to talk now.

The other needs time to process.

One thinks: “If you cared, you’d know what I need.”

The other is thinking: “I do care. I genuinely didn’t know.”

If one or both of you are autistic, ADHD, AuDHD — or you’re wondering whether neurodivergence might be part of your story — some of your relationship difficulties can begin to make more sense when we look at them through a neurodivergent lens.

A need for processing time can look like withdrawal.

Direct communication can sound uncaring.

Sensory overload can appear as irritability.

Executive-function difficulties can be mistaken for not trying.

Different ways of showing affection can leave both people wondering whether they’re loved.

None of this means your relationship can’t work.

It might simply mean some of the usual relationship advice doesn’t work particularly well for your brains.

Therapy that works with your brains

I’m not interested in deciding who’s “the difficult one”.

We’ll get curious about what’s actually happening — including communication, processing differences, overwhelm, sensory needs, masking, emotional regulation and the experiences you’ve each brought into the relationship.

That might mean:

allowing more processing time
making communication more concrete
breaking difficult conversations into smaller pieces
reducing pressure to respond immediately
understanding sensory or emotional overload
creating practical structures around places where you repeatedly get stuck

You don’t have to perform therapy “properly”.

And neither of you needs to become more neurotypical to have a good relationship.

At the same time, understanding why something happens doesn’t mean ignoring its impact on your partner. That’s the balance we’ll work towards:

Understand the reason. Adapt for the difference. Stay accountable for the impact. Reduce the blame and shame.

And hopefully create much more understanding of yourselves, each other, and how to build a relationship that actually works for both of you.

🌿 What are we actually working towards?

There’s no single definition of a “good relationship”.

Your relationship doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s.

But couples often come to therapy wanting some version of the same things:

To talk without every difficult conversation becoming an argument.
To feel heard.
To understand each other again.
To feel safer being honest.
To rebuild trust.
To feel affection and intimacy again.
To disagree without damaging the relationship.
To stop feeling as though they’re on opposing sides.
To remember why they chose each other in the first place.

Ultimately, couples therapy isn’t about creating a relationship where you never disagree.

It’s about creating one where disagreement doesn’t have to mean disconnection.

🌿 Starting couples therapy can feel like a big step

Especially if one of you is more enthusiastic about coming than the other.

That’s really common.

Being hesitant about therapy doesn’t automatically mean someone isn’t committed to their relationship.

You might be worried about being blamed.

Being judged.

Being ganged-up on.

Opening things that feel safer left alone.

Or simply talking about very private parts of your relationship with someone you’ve never met before.

We don’t need to rush.

My aim is to create a calm, steady space where both of you can settle into the process at your own pace.

You don’t need to protect me from your story.

You don’t need to have the right words.

You don’t need to make your relationship sound better than it feels.

You just need to arrive.

We’ll make sense of it together.

Ready to book that consultation?

Best Self Therapy : Wirral

with Delyth Cole

When you’re ready to take that first step toward a healthier, more connected partnership, I’m here.

Book a free 20-minute consultation to see how we can work together to rebuild the connection you both want.

Book your call

🌿 Finding your Rhythm

In my experience, the clock can sometimes be the biggest enemy in couples work.

There’s nothing worse than finally getting underneath an important conversation…

only to realise there are ten minutes left.

That’s why I offer two session lengths.

✦ 75-minute session — £100

For many couples, this is the “Goldilocks” option.

... It gives us enough time to settle in, get into the work and explore what’s happening without feeling rushed — while still having time to bring things back down before you leave.

✦ 50-minute session — £80

A more traditional therapy session.

... This can work well if you prefer shorter sessions, have something specific you’d like to focus on, or are coming back for a check-in or booster session.

🌿 Where can we meet?

Couples therapy is available:

In person
At my therapy room at Wellness in Birkenhead, Wirral.

In your home
Home-based couples sessions are available across the Wirral.

Online
Via Zoom across the UK and further afield.

Or a mixture
You don’t have to choose one format forever. We can mix online and in-person sessions where appropriate.

☆ Post-therapy booster sessions are also available if you’d like an occasional check-in after regular therapy has ended.

🌿 Before you start…

You don’t need to complete homework before contacting me.

But you might find it useful to think about a few things.

What would you most like to be different between you?
When do things tend to go wrong?
What have you already tried?
What do you miss about your relationship?

And perhaps the biggest question:

If therapy helped, what would tell you that things were getting better?

You don’t need to agree on the answers.

In fact, you probably won’t.

That’s okay.

It’s somewhere for us to begin.

🌿 What Couples Counselling can't do?

Couples counselling can’t force somebody to change.

It can’t guarantee that you’ll stay together.

It isn’t somewhere I decide who’s “right” and who’s “wrong”.

And I can’t repair your relationship for you.

Therapy is something we do together, and meaningful change requires engagement from both partners.

There are also circumstances where couples therapy may not be appropriate.

This can include situations involving abuse, coercive or controlling behaviour, fear of a partner, or a significant risk of harm.

If I have concerns about whether couples work is appropriate or safe for you, we’ll talk about this and consider what other support might be more suitable.

🌿 What if we’ve already decided it’s over?

couples counselling healthy split wirral

Not every couple who needs help wants to stay together.

Sometimes the decision has already been made.

The relationship is ending, but you want to find a way through the separation with less conflict and more understanding — particularly where children, family or a shared life are involved.

If that’s where you are, my Healthy Split service may be more appropriate for you.

🌿 So, ready to see if couples therapy could help?

You don’t have to decide today how you’re going to fix your relationship.

And you don’t have to know whether therapy will work.

The first step is much smaller than that.

We can simply have a conversation.

I offer a free 20-minute consultation where you can tell me a little about what’s been happening, ask questions and get a feel for whether working together feels right.

... And there’s no pressure, and no obligation to book therapy afterwards.

Sometimes taking that first step is enough for things to begin feeling a little less stuck.

Book your free 20-minute consultation